Parent Corner #7 – Respect the Stripes

It was the night before the big game, and all was quiet through the house, until the next day when Mom’s boy didn’t like the play,
the poor referee barely got away, as a mom and a dad started chirping away. Sound familiar?

I’ve heard the chirps in our own league toward our referees. As we get deeper into the season, parents become more comfortable—which often leads to parents getting on our refs for missed calls. Sounds helpful, right? Not really.

The truth is, the louder we get, the smaller the experience becomes for everyone involved—especially our kids.

Away Game (order book HERE) puts it bluntly:

“Officials are becoming extinct. At the high school level, 80 percent of officials quit after just two years according to the National Federation of State High School Associations. Sports officials, arguably the most important people in organized sports, are an endangered species. Why are officials leaving? A 2024 study from the Sport Journal entitled ‘The Real Cause of Losing Sports Officials’ concluded what anyone paying attention at games already knows. It’s us.”
— Away Game by Brian Smith & Ed Uszynski

That one hits home.

At FCA Sports, we want to do things differently—to flip the script on how families, coaches, and fans approach the game. If Jesus’ kingdom is an upside-down kingdom, then we should reflect that even in the way we treat referees. We can model patience, gratitude, and grace—even when the call doesn’t go our way.

When we lead that way, our kids notice. They see that respect matters more than the result. And when they see that, they learn to play and live differently, too.

Meet Ray

Ray’s team was in a tight game—one goal could decide it all. Late in the match, a whistle blew and the call went against them. A couple of parents in the stands stood up, yelling in disbelief. Ray looked over, uneasy. His coach quickly shouted, “Hey, let’s play on! Control what we can control!”

After the game, Ray told his mom, “Coach says the refs are part of the team too. Without them, we don’t get to play.” She smiled, proud of how far he’d come. Ray was learning what so many adults still forget—respecting the stripes is part of the game.

Takeaway: Let’s lead the way in how we respond. Thank your officials this week. Smile. Shake their hand. Model the kind of sportsmanship that makes youth sports a joy to be part of—for everyone involved.

Win The Day,

Troy Farley

FCA Sports Leagues Director